Democrat and Republican: Two Words That Mean Stupid

Democrats

1. Demographics, demographics demographics!

   I don't give a damn what percentage of the 24-26 Korean-American of Fairmont, VA with one parent in the military demographic is voting for Hillary Clinton. Demographics are important to marketing executives; not so much to laws. And just in case you forgot, politics involves laws.

2. Advocate the rights of the lazy.

   It's important to have safety nets in place so people don't lose their homes every time they go through a week of unemployment, but sometimes it gets pushed too far. The result is that people who have never worked a day in their life have better health care for free than I will ever have access to unless I work my ass off to pay for it.

3. Illegal immigration.

   This is where democrats go from overprotective to just plain wuss. If someone is here illegally, then THEY ARE A CRIMINAL! How does a concept as transparent as that escape the deductive abilities of 100,000,000 people? When asked about their flawed views on "undocumented workers" (a term used to disguise the fact that they're in the United States illegally), one person remarked, "Well, they're doing the jobs that Americans are unwilling to do." What a healthy dose of bullshit.

   Americans aren't unwilling to do those jobs (construction, picking fruit, etc.); corporations are unwilling to hire them. Those are two mutually exclusive concepts (being that one is true and the other is bona fide horse-shit). Maddox pinned this one down: Force corporations to pay illegals the same wages as regular Americans and they lose their incentive to hire them over American workers. Even if there are Americans who don't want to do those jobs, the increasing high school drop out rate will continue to ensure that plenty of Americans are lined up ready to fill them.

Republicans

1. Tax breaks for the wealthy.

   Here's the thing about "Trickle-Down Theory:" It only works in practice when businesses, corporations, and rich fat cats decide to invest their money instead of hording it. Instead of giving tax breaks to the wealthy, why not give tax breaks to the workers? After all, the workers have to spend their money, so it will end up in the hands of the rich anyway; but at least the workers will get something out of it... other than the shaft.

2. Same-sex marriage.

   The majority of the Republican Party is opposed to same-sex marriage. Good for them, but the justifications they come up with are so stupid I can only compare it to a Muslim Neo-Nazi attending a Bar Mitzvahs.

   • "Same-sex marriage devalues our marriages!"

     No. Try, "The rising divorce rate devalues our marriages." Letting gays get married only devalues straight marriages in the same sense that letting black people vote devalues white votes; or that letting other people have an opinion devalues your opinion. This is what I call the selfish totalitarian defense.

   • "I don't want gays around me," or "I don't want gays hitting on me."

     Anyone who resorts to this justification is either insecure about their own sexuality or narcissistic enough to believe that every person who sees them is compelled to have sex with them (in summary: an idiot). If you're a guy and a man walks up to you and asks if you want to see a movie, do what I do: just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested." There's no need to scream, get offended, or run away.

   • [Religious Justification]

     I challenge anyone to show me in the Latin version of the Bible where it condemns lesbians. If God is real and supposedly perfect, then why would he (or she?) condemn male homosexuality but not think of lesbians? Could it be that the Bible was written by sexist Roman humans who plagiarized everything from Zoroastrianism and Judaism? Either way, religious justifications for condemning same-sex marriages are bullshit.

   I've said it before: If you don't like gay marriage, then don't have a gay marriage.

3. Religion on the sleeve.

   I've touched up on this before, but it deserves to be reinforced: YOUR RELIGION DOES NOT MAKE YOU SUPERIOR; nor does it give you the right to bring it into every discussion, debate, or diatribe. Religion is an inherently personal concept. If you want to sit around in a church soaking your political views from a man who devoted his entire life to studying and selectively quoting passages from an ancient book with outdated morality, that's your choice. Stop taking something that requires "faith" and basing public policy off it.