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Attention Failures: Socialize On Your Own Time

Today I nearly missed an important announcement because the morons in my English class couldn't shut their enormous mouths even after I said, "I'm trying to hear this; shut up!" The problem is clear and widely-known: Kids don't want to go to school. What isn't widely-known, however, is how transparent the solutions to this problem are.

1. Stop talking.


Shut the hell up!

The first and easiest solution is for kids to simply shut up, do their work, and socialize on their own time. Ironically, it is the conclusion that takes the least amount of deduction to reach and the most effort for high school students to accomplish.

What do people find so difficult about shutting up for a few minutes? These are the steps you have to take to stop talking:

  1. Close your mouth.
  2. Don't open it unless queried by the instructor.
Is that so hard?
2. Drop out.
For those of you who see shutting up as too arduous of a task, you can always drop out of high school. Let's face it: If you're incapable of shutting up and sitting still for ten minutes, you're probably not going to be a rocket scientist. You're not doing us a favor by burdening everyone else with your irresponsible, incessant chit-chat.

Dropping out might be the best mistake you've ever made! Just think of all the gas money you'll be saving by not going to school... or better yet, all the blood pressure medication money you'll be saving your classmates in 20 years.

The choice is yours! Either way, I don't have to deal with your bullshit and I can go on with my life.
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