Disaster - From Kobra's Recipe Book

Technological Disaster

What you need:

• 1 old person (age 55+)
• 1 any piece of technology

This recipe for disaster is surprisingly common for the amount of damage it yields. All you need to do is set a piece of technology-- but especially any computer or network equipment-- in front of an old person and watch it fall to pieces.

There are many theories for why this works, but the most prevalent is because old people are computer illiterate and set in their obsolete ways.

This isn't always the case; you might encounter the rare 1970's programmer who reminisces about the days of infinite looping a computer's operating system. Nevertheless, they will eventually succumb to their age and wreck even the stablest builds of any operating system on the market.

It never happens.

Progressive Disaster

What you need:

• 1 old person (55+)
• 1 any business, factory, or highway

Just like the technological disaster, the progressive disaster utilizes the sheer destructive force of an old person trying to think to hold everyone up and ruin everyone else's day.

For extra flavor, give the old person a jar full of change every time they go into a business. The cashier and the other customers will thank you for it.

Hygienic Disaster

What you need:

• 1 old person (55+)

That's all you need! Old people are decaying walking infections that smell like stale underwater and dry piss.

Political Disaster

What you need:

• 2,000,000 old people
• 1 election

Since old people are slow, stupid, rancid, and computer illiterate; it should come to no surprise that old people are the scourge of elections. To back up this assertion, I will point to the state of Florida-- the state with the largest elderly population in America. Need I say any more?

Economic Disaster

What you need:

• Any number of old people
• 1 stock market
• 1 very high building to jump out of every time an old person makes a financial decision

I would like to think that after 60 or so years of handling money, a person would eventually wise up to cons and learn how to invest properly. Instead, you have geriatric old bats who whine to the news because they made poor investment choices (Enron anyone?) or because they got scammed out of their retirement money by some dipshit who called them and claimed to be from their bank.